What a bastard. Of a task.

Is it me, or is this blog becoming a lot ruder later? First an orgy, now swearing in the title of an entry... I swear, if it wasn't me deliberately putting these things on here, I'd be shocked. Cover your children's eyes, people, they're still innocent and unspoiled! Well, mostly.

I was tagged for the following meme by Nathaniel over at The Film Experience, but after a few hours of thinking about it I decided sticking my head in a vat of boiling water would be preferable so I went and did that instead. Now I've recovered and thankfully things are in much better perspective. So here are My Top Ten Film Characters Ever. Yes, ever. No limiting to make it easier. *boils more water* (These are in alphabetical order, by the way. No favouritisement took place.)

The Aliens in Toy Story (1995)/ Toy Story 2 (1999)
Oh, sure. Woody's great. Buzz is fantastic. Hamm is hilarious. Mr Potato Head is brilliance. Rex is hysterical. But no one beats these aliens for me. Like all young adults of my age, I grew up with Pixar, and the aliens have always been my favourite part of any Pixar- hell, any Disney- movie. I love their unity of voice. I love their unwavering dedication. I love their innocent, unspoiled awe. They are beauty incarnate. "The claaaaaaaaaaaaw..."

Cecilia in The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
Shouldn't Cecilia be on all of our lists? She is the most sympathetic, pathetic, adorable movie-obsessed character I know. She lives within us all.

The Gamine in Modern Times (1936)
You can keep your Tramps, thanks (that rhymes!); I'll take the Gamine any day. I love City Lights but I do believe Modern Times beats it hands down to the title of my favourite Chaplin purely because of the Gamine. An equal to the Tramp, a playful, charming, utterly lovable woman. I fell in love with Paulette Goddard for this film and this film alone- nowhere else on-screen has she been so vibrant, so radiant.

Jesse & Celine in Before Sunrise (1995)/ Before Sunset (2004)
I'm a romantic at heart, beneath all this self-conscious cynicism and moodiness, and this is my ideal of love. Alright, so Jesse and Celine are just as much Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy as they are the characters written in the screenplay, but so are all the best characters. And these are the best characters. I've introduced this film to quite a few people and not one of them hasn't fallen in love with this pair.

Joel Barish in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
I am him. This is basically me put on the cinema screen. Sadly minus Kate Winslet, but if I had her I wouldn't be this person so it's all one of those loops isn't it?

Mary Poppins in Mary Poppins (1964)
She's supercalifradulisticexpialidocious. I typed that from memory so apologies if I spelt it wrong. But it's surely worth getting children just so you can have this woman as their nanny, right? Granted I'd take up all her time, but so what? Those ungrateful wretches don't deserve her.

Sugar Kane Kowalczyk in Some Like It Hot (1959)
Again, as much Marilyn Monroe as Sugar Kane Kowalczyk, but who cares when she's this gorgeously deliriously deliciously lovably memorable? I love Marilyn. And when I think of Marilyn, I think of Sugar. And spice. And sex. It's always nice.

Susan Vance in Bringing Up Baby (1938)
The screwiest screwball who ever screwed. Or something. I even considered Barbra Streisand's Judy from What's Up, Doc? for this list but all female screwballers must surely sede to Susan Vance. She is lunatic, possessive, obsessive, adorable, ingenious, gorgeous madness in its purest, most delicious form. And surely the best character Katharine Hepburn ever played.


Truman in The Truman Show (1998)
It's Jim Carrey again! Oh, but The Truman Show is one of my favourite movies ever, and is Truman not the finest hero of them all- the hero who rebels against being a hero and only makes himself more of a hero than ever? Or something. It made sense in my head.

Well, that was fun, wasn't it? I'm going to go and drown myself now. (Not really.)

I'm supposed to tag people for this but in my lovable self-depricating way I don't think those who I might tag will actually read this so let's do it this way: I have five tags. Comment and ask for one and I shall name you hence. Tagged: James. Cal. J.D..

Victim's 20 Favourite Actresses of All-Time

I've been tagged! This meme originates from the almighty Nathaniel at The Film Experience, and it is one tailor-made for he and all his actressexual friends: your 20 favourite actresses of all-time. No explanations, no rankings: just pictures. And, as I can't resist the multitude of diva-ish goodness, here are my twenty (in alpha order).

(click to enjoy the enormity)

Joan / Jean / Ingrid / Toni / Olivia
Marlene / Mia / Audrey / Katharine / Holly
Laura / Marilyn / Julianne / Jeanne / Miranda
Rosalind / Barbara / Kathleen / Sigourney / Kate

My Own Cinema For The Week

Since I intentionally yet inadvertantly (work that one out) hurt J.D.'s feelings, I thought I'd make it up to him by actually doing the meme he tagged me for (whether this is good enough as an apology, only he can judge...). By the by, each night's subtitles are inspired by the continually hilarious use of the word "fracking" in Battlestar Galactica (which is very very good, although I suppose that shouldn't surprise me), which, while a canny way of escaping television censorship, wouldn't get around my mother.

1) Choose 12 Films to be featured. They could be random selections or part of a greater theme. Whatever you want.

2) Explain why you chose the films.

3) Link back to Lazy Eye Theatre so I can have hundreds of links and I can take those links and spread them all out on the bed and then roll around in them.

4) The people selected then have to turn around and select 5 more people.

Night #1: Flicking FunThe More the Merrier (George Stevens, 1943)
Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! (Pedro Almodovar, 1990)

I went through a whole raft of Classic Hollywood 'screwball' comedies (possibly my favourite genre) before settling on the little-seen The More the Merrier... Jean Arthur and Joel McCrea are two of the wittiest and charismatic stars, and it's disheartening to see how they're so overlooked. The film is about house-sharing during the Second World War... naturally, such close proximity of strangers makes for hilariously awkward consequences. But romantic, too, and cleverly constructed... it's a gem. And then, for the second film of the night, I've picked Almodovar's screwball-inspired Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! (or simply Atame! in its original form), which is sick, twisted, and an overlooked (see a theme here?) stroke of genius. Victoria Abril is on cracking form, as a porn star kidnapped (and tied up) by ex-lover Antonio Banderas. You'll never forget it, I swear. And just imagine what the sex scenes look like on a big screen...

Night #2: Flick DownToy Story (Jon Lasseter, 1995)
Babe (Chris Noonan, 1995)

A night from my childhood- both are from 1995, when I turned 7, and both are absolute staples of my young film viewing. Toy Story is still Pixar's best (these Wall-E people are crazy), and I still remember the story about my younger sister (who would have been almost 4) sleeping through the entire thing. Babe, though, feels like it's always been there- I had the video, the toy, even the hot water-bottle cover, I read the Dick King Smith book it was based on. Whenever I watch it, it warms my heart. And hopefully, this double bill will do the same for its imaginary audience.

Night #3: Brit FlickThe Way to the Stars (Anthony Asquith, 1945)
A Fish Called Wanda (Charles Crichton, 1988)

Being a rare British voice in this circle of the blogosphere, I feel it my duty to have at least one night that offers up the best this country has to offer. The Way to the Stars is easily one of the best films produced both during and about the Second World War- genuine, funny, realistic, and beautifully performed by a stellar cast (particularly Rosamund Johns). And then, for some light relief, its John Cleese's classic A Fish Called Wanda (from 1988, the year of my birth), which is one of the funniest films ever made anywhere.

Night #4: Flick LoveBachelor Mother (Garson Kanin, 1939)
Paris, Texas (Wim Wenders, 1984)

When I go in for love (figuratively speaking), I don't really go for the traditional, straightforward romantic comedy (not that there's anything wrong with that, and I enjoy a great deal of them. But anyway.). No, I go for tragedy, perversity, oddball and single mothers (well, not really with the last one). And this is exemplified by this double bill. Bachelor Mother is terrific vehicle for the comedienne in Ginger Rogers, who here plays a store clerk who is mistakenly believed to be the mother of a foundling by boss' son David Niven (incidentally, boss is Charles Coburn, popping up again after being seen earlier this week in The More the Merrier). Hijinks and a predictable end ensue, but it's a fantastic watch. And Paris, Texas is Wim Wenders' masterpiece (sorry, Wings of Desire), the painful story of a man rediscovering his identity and the family he left behind. No happy endings here, just beautiful filmmaking.

Night #5: Inspect-a-FlicksLa double vie de Veronique (Krzysztof Kieslowski, 1991)
Vivre sa vie (Jean-Luc Godard, 1962)

It's pure chance that both of my more 'existential' picks are both foreign- and, indeed, both French. Krzysztof Kieslowski may be best known for his towering Three Colours trilogy but it's this precursor in his catalogue that I love most deeply- Irene Jacob is bewitching as both Veronique and Weronika, two women whose lives prove inscrutable mirrors of each other. And in Vivre sa vie, one of Jean-Luc Godard's earliest pictures, his wife Anna Karina is just as fascinating as Nana, whose life is told in twelve unconventional chapters. I think this penultimate night is a time to engage your brain fully before it revolts at the final night...

Night #6: Flick OffSpeed (Jan De Bont, 1994)
Bug (William Friedkin, 2006)

I get my movie thrills in different ways, and this final pairing shows just how differently I try and achieve this. Speed is pure adrenaline, one of the first 'adult' movies I remember seeing- I recently bought the DVD because my VHS had finally given out from me watching it so much. It is, perhaps, the only film I can take Keanu Reeves in, and is also to be credited/blamed with starting my love affair with Sandra Bullock (she's not giving me enough to work with anyone, dammit!). And for our final film, we have one of the finest films of recent times, the pyschological and physical freakout that is Bug. DVD isn't enough for this masterclass from William Friedkin- I need the massive cinema screen late at night that was my first viewing. Both films pack a walloping punch- I'll be shaking, whether it be from excitement or pure unadulterated fear.

I know I'm supposed to tag people, but I'm not exactly the most sociable of bloggers and I think most people I know will already have been tagged. But feel free to take the baton if no one else has passed it to you.

The Nearest (Well, Almost) Book

J.D. tagged me, and who am I to say no when he says I'm one of his best friends? Flattery will get you everywhere.

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123.
3. Locate the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences on your blog and in so doing...
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged me.

Well, sir, I am currently (and unfortunately, but we won't go into that) at university and thus have in various parts of this desk-thingmagig (that doesn't have enough room for a chair in its anorexic centre) all the books I had to read from this year's modules. Sadly, that's all, because I don't have the time to read anything I actually want to read, and they're waiting elsewhere for me to ignore this summer when my brain won't be able to take in another printed word without a warning siren going off. Not that all these books are bad, and, in the spirit of Italo Calvino, I'm going to pass over the Books-I-Haven't-Finished (*ignores 'Orlando'*) and the Books-I-Could-Give-A-Crap-About (*throws aside 'The Scarlet Letter'*) and the Books-I-Just-Plain-Hated (*rips apart Walt Whitman*) and pick up one that I absolutely loved. It's the magnum opus of George Eliot, Middlemarch.

But results which depend on human conscience and intelligence work slowly, and now at the end of 1829, most medical practice was still strutting or shambling along the old paths, and there was still scientific work to be done which might have seemed to be a direct sequence of Bichart's. This great seer did not go beyond the consideration of the tissues as ultimate facts in the living organism, marking the limit of anatomical analysis; but it was open to another mind to say, have not these structures some common basis from which they have all started, as your sarsnet, gauze, net, satin and velvet from the raw cocoon? Here would be another light, as of oxy-hydrogen, showing the very grain of things, and revising all former explanations.

I can almost see you readers nodding off. That's hardly representative of why this book's great. This particular passage- not very far through this 688 page book at all- concerns one of the novel's two main characters, the doctor Tertius Lydgate, and some kind of medical ponderation.

How about something more filmic? This is from what my lecturers sold as one of the essential books we'd need; and fittingly enough, I haven't used it once. This is Film Art, by David Bordwell and Kristen Thompson:

Many critics suggest that the 1970s subgenre of family horror films, such as The Exorcist and Poltergeist, reflect social concerns about the breakup of American families. Others suggest that the genre's questioning of normality and traditional categories is in tune with both the post-Vietnam and post-Cold War eras: Viewers may be uncertain of their fundamental beliefs about the world and their place in it. The continuing popularity of the teenage-orientated slasher series during the 1980s and 1990s might cater to young people's fascination with and simultaneous anxieties about sexuality and violence- enhanced by sophisticated special-effects capable of creating gory and grotesque scenes.

How thrilling.

And I tag YOU. Why aren't you doing it yet? Go!

My Dinner With... Jeanne Moreau

I've been tagged by Nathaniel over @ The Film Experience... I'd just like to thank him for providing me with such a panic-inducer of a meme. Everyone knows I'm no good at social interaction! Dinner equals disaster. I just know I'll trip and send those dishes flying...

1. Pick a single person past or present who works in the film industry who you'd like to have dinner with and tell us why you chose this person.
I've decided to make a date with Jeanne Moreau.

I wavered and pondered over who I could invite to this shindig. But I couldn't think of anyone who I could really hold an evening long conversation with... I'd either be too prone to slap them for their recent misbehaviour (that means you, Jodie... and you too, Uma!), or too entranced by them to say much except "uh-huh". And the idea of bringing back someone from the dead is too unnerving for words. But Jeanne, sex symbol she may have been, always had an aura of generousness to her, and a sense that her feet were the firmest on the ground in any given place. She's a legend, yes, but an approachable one, and an endlessly fascinating one. Hopefully, we'd get on like a house on fire.

This is also a way of capping my almost-complete university module on the French New Wave, during which we watched not only what is probably Jeanne's most famous film, Jules et Jim, but also her breakthrough, Louis Malle's L'Ascenseur pour l'echafaud.

2. Set the table for your dinner. What would you eat? Would it be in a home or at a restaurant? And what would you wear? Feel free to elaborate on the details.
I'm no chef, so we're definitely off to a restaurant. Jeanne has recently turned eighty so she can wear whatever she feels comfortable in... however, she deserves the best, so I'm wearing a spotless dinner jacket. I'll take the Eurostar over to Paris (where I assume she lives, or at least nearby) and we'll go to a quiet but classy restaurant, where Jeanne can order whatever she likes. I'll pay any bill for this legend.

3. List five thoughtful questions you would ask this person during dinner.
1. You are perhaps the only French actress who was a large, influencial force in the New Wave and was recognised independantly of- and in some cases was more famous than- the directors. Do you see yourself as an important creative force in the movement, or simply someone under the guidance of those who around you?

2. You headed the Cannes jury in 1995. What was the experience like? Did you feel comfortable in control, or was the experience more a communal one?

3. You recently starred in Francois Ozon's Time to Leave, playing Melvin Poupaud's grandmother. Is working with and encouraging young actors important to you? Do you see that you have anything useful to teach the next generation of performers?

4. With such international fame and sex-symbol status there must surely have been the opportunity to leave entirely for Hollywood. Did you ever consider it? And do you think you've maintained a satisfactory balance between projects over the years?

5. You've not stopped working even into your ninth decade. Do you think you'll ever stop, and does working in cinema still hold the same value for you?

4. When all is said and done, select six bloggers to pass this Meme along to. Link back to Lazy Eye Theatre, so that people know the mastermind behind this Meme.
I'm tagging J.D., Glenn, Cal, Jesse, Scott, and Catherine. Who may choose to ignore this as if they never even read it. (Ooh, burn...)