Oh dear...

Alright, so I didn't do those award things yet. And I haven't even posted at The Film Experience for six days. I'm a very busy man! As proved by the fact that I decided that I may as well embrace the newest technological revolution and join this Twitter thing. So you can now find what will probably include filmic updates among all the other junk by following me here:

https://twitter.com/randomfurlong

And that is all for now, friends.

Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone?

I'm guessing that most people who read this blog are also avid followers of The Film Experience, but just in case you aren't, I've somehow got myself the gig of guest-blogging over there while Nathaniel is off in lovely Nashville. So I'll be posting various interesting/not interesting things over there for the next week or so.

But there'll be stuff here in a few days too, have no fear. With The Class earlier today, and my decision that Blindness can be chucked overboard (it's not my fault they didn't send it to me), my 2008 roster is complete enough (Synecdoche, New York doesn't appear for yet more months, and god only knows if I'll ever actually watch Che) that I can stick my Gold Stars on those most impressive achievers from last year and finally get this blog into the new year. It's only April after all.

The Best Thing Lindsay Lohan Has Done In Several Years

She's a redhead again! She can make fun of herself! She has comic timing again! Dare we hope to dream to wonder if this is the end of the beginning and the main course is on its way?

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile from Lindsay Lohan

Something Kinda Bunny

Everyone loves bunnies. Right? If you've ever had the pleasure of speaking to me on AIM, you'll know how enormously cute my bunny smilies are. Bunnies, in short, are irresistible. And the movies... well, you can get all sorts of bunnies in the movies.

Adorable ones...

Tardy ones...

Doomed ones...

Greedy ones...

Desperate but crafty ones...Large and scary ones...

Large and scary and blue ones...

Invisible ones...

... and have been framed for a crime they didn't commit but have one of the sexiest cartoon characters ever for a wife so don't feel too sorry for him... ones.

But there's a new bunny in town, and this one might just take the crown from them all...

She might not find a crown fashionable, though, so I guess her throne is pending. Ah, well. She'll be happier in that sorority house anyway.

Whatever Became Of Christina Ricci?

I've no idea if anyone even gives a damn about poor Christina Ricci's career any more, but she's been on my mind recently because Black Snake Moan is part of my not-as-epic-as-it-should-be 'evolution of the Southern heroine' essay. So as I was kinda-working-but-kinda-not and wandered onto her IMDb profile, I came across this piece of news.

"I am thinking Christina Ricci got the better deal here," writes Brad Brevet. Well, compared to poor, continually undervalued Maria Bello, that seems to be true (Maria being married to Kevin James is on an Embeth Davidtz being married to Anthony Hopkins level of absurdity), but it's a sad day when Christina Ricci has to settle for an Adam Sandler porn comedy. Indeed, Ricci's career seems to have got lost somewhere- her only films of note (let's not mention Anything Else, shall we?) in the '00s have been Monster, in which she was quite terrible; Speed Racer, in which she had fuck all to do; and Black Snake Moan. The latter of which is easily the best role she's had since her finest one to date in Don Roos' acidic comedy The Opposite of Sex back in 1998. And what else is she known for beyond the obvious Wednesday Addams? I'd wager that gothic little girl remains the thing most people know her for.

It probably doesn't help that she doesn't seem to have grown up. She may play an intensely sexual nymphomaniac (I'm guessing nymphomaniacs generally are intensely sexual) in Black Snake Moan, but once Samuel L. Jackson has chained and tamed her she's back to her incredibly tiny girlishness in a flowery dress and she could be back in 1995. And now she, devoid of box office clout (not that she ever had it in the first place), is stuck with the 'supportive girlfriend' parts like Speed Racer or this porn comedy, Born to be a Star. Her other upcoming projects don't seem any more promising:

• All's Faire in Love, a Renaissance faire comedy (um, okay)
• After.Life, a schlocky-sounding horror (although the director's only other work seems well-regarded, so who knows- dreadful title though)
• The Hero of Color City, an animated movie about a box of crayons (words fail me)
• Alpha and Omega, another werewolf movie (see exhibit A)
• and Long Time Gone, a potentially-promising (but possibly not-happening) family drama with Anjelica Huston.

She seems to have two 'personas' that the industry, at least, views her as being interesting as: the dangerously sexual, manipulative young woman, or the horrifying, pale-faced 'other'. Her bug-eyes may remind of Bette Davis but do parts like those Bette played even exist any more? Is there room for an 'unconventional' beauty in Hollywood today? Ricci is too small to be intimidating, seemingly too oddball for the mainstream. And yet that seems to be what she's continuing to chase. She may have thrown a more challenging part like Black Snake Moan in there, but that's the exception rather than the rule. Her career, ultimately, seems to be less chasing mainstream success than really having no idea what to do with herself.

And that, my friends, is really quite sad. [Next week on 'Whatever Became Of...': Winona Ryder. (I may or may not be joking.)]

What a bastard. Of a task.

Is it me, or is this blog becoming a lot ruder later? First an orgy, now swearing in the title of an entry... I swear, if it wasn't me deliberately putting these things on here, I'd be shocked. Cover your children's eyes, people, they're still innocent and unspoiled! Well, mostly.

I was tagged for the following meme by Nathaniel over at The Film Experience, but after a few hours of thinking about it I decided sticking my head in a vat of boiling water would be preferable so I went and did that instead. Now I've recovered and thankfully things are in much better perspective. So here are My Top Ten Film Characters Ever. Yes, ever. No limiting to make it easier. *boils more water* (These are in alphabetical order, by the way. No favouritisement took place.)

The Aliens in Toy Story (1995)/ Toy Story 2 (1999)
Oh, sure. Woody's great. Buzz is fantastic. Hamm is hilarious. Mr Potato Head is brilliance. Rex is hysterical. But no one beats these aliens for me. Like all young adults of my age, I grew up with Pixar, and the aliens have always been my favourite part of any Pixar- hell, any Disney- movie. I love their unity of voice. I love their unwavering dedication. I love their innocent, unspoiled awe. They are beauty incarnate. "The claaaaaaaaaaaaw..."

Cecilia in The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
Shouldn't Cecilia be on all of our lists? She is the most sympathetic, pathetic, adorable movie-obsessed character I know. She lives within us all.

The Gamine in Modern Times (1936)
You can keep your Tramps, thanks (that rhymes!); I'll take the Gamine any day. I love City Lights but I do believe Modern Times beats it hands down to the title of my favourite Chaplin purely because of the Gamine. An equal to the Tramp, a playful, charming, utterly lovable woman. I fell in love with Paulette Goddard for this film and this film alone- nowhere else on-screen has she been so vibrant, so radiant.

Jesse & Celine in Before Sunrise (1995)/ Before Sunset (2004)
I'm a romantic at heart, beneath all this self-conscious cynicism and moodiness, and this is my ideal of love. Alright, so Jesse and Celine are just as much Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy as they are the characters written in the screenplay, but so are all the best characters. And these are the best characters. I've introduced this film to quite a few people and not one of them hasn't fallen in love with this pair.

Joel Barish in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
I am him. This is basically me put on the cinema screen. Sadly minus Kate Winslet, but if I had her I wouldn't be this person so it's all one of those loops isn't it?

Mary Poppins in Mary Poppins (1964)
She's supercalifradulisticexpialidocious. I typed that from memory so apologies if I spelt it wrong. But it's surely worth getting children just so you can have this woman as their nanny, right? Granted I'd take up all her time, but so what? Those ungrateful wretches don't deserve her.

Sugar Kane Kowalczyk in Some Like It Hot (1959)
Again, as much Marilyn Monroe as Sugar Kane Kowalczyk, but who cares when she's this gorgeously deliriously deliciously lovably memorable? I love Marilyn. And when I think of Marilyn, I think of Sugar. And spice. And sex. It's always nice.

Susan Vance in Bringing Up Baby (1938)
The screwiest screwball who ever screwed. Or something. I even considered Barbra Streisand's Judy from What's Up, Doc? for this list but all female screwballers must surely sede to Susan Vance. She is lunatic, possessive, obsessive, adorable, ingenious, gorgeous madness in its purest, most delicious form. And surely the best character Katharine Hepburn ever played.


Truman in The Truman Show (1998)
It's Jim Carrey again! Oh, but The Truman Show is one of my favourite movies ever, and is Truman not the finest hero of them all- the hero who rebels against being a hero and only makes himself more of a hero than ever? Or something. It made sense in my head.

Well, that was fun, wasn't it? I'm going to go and drown myself now. (Not really.)

I'm supposed to tag people for this but in my lovable self-depricating way I don't think those who I might tag will actually read this so let's do it this way: I have five tags. Comment and ask for one and I shall name you hence. Tagged: James. Cal. J.D..